said hello I think I'm broken
And though I was only jokin'
It took me by surprise when you agreed
I was tryin' to be clever
For the life of me I never
Would have guessed how far the simple truth would lead
You knew all my lines
You knew all my tricks
You knew how to heal that pain
No medicine can fix
And I bless the day I met you
And I thank God that He let you
Lay beside me for a moment that lives on And the good news is I'm better For the time we spent together And the bad news is you're gone
Lookin' back it's still surprisin'
I was sinking you were rising
With a look you caught me in mid-air
Now I know God has His reasons
But sometimes it's hard to see them
When I awake and find that you're not there
You found hope in hopeless
Your made crazy sane
You became the missing link
That helped me break my chains

And I bless the day I met you
And I thank God that He let you
Lay beside me for a moment that lives on

i never met you but melanie introduced me to you even after death and i have the upmost respect for you as man and as a father. you will be missed.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
(Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!)

Tom, I really miss you. I feel we really clicked and we connected as friends and as family. You always had a way with words and your jokes always made me smile. I'll miss the talks we had and even when you and Melanie had disagreements, I was glad to help you to understand her. I will always remember you. Love you lots, Debbie (the other mom)

Tom,
I had a tough easter over Annes. It's so hard facing people and places we used to see/be together, it was so hard to hold back the tears. I sat where you sat with me last time to hide, and have a smoke on the side of the house. It seemed like just yesterday you and I were there together. I have such intense pain and Isa is my only salvation, but I miss your touch, voice, company, just you, so damn bad it is killing me inside trynna keep it together. I loved you soooo much, you could never know what an impact you had on my life. I want to be single forever, just with your memory and Isa. I am not letting any man take away what I have left of you. Same goes for Isa. I am yours 4 ever. Love always, melanie Hope Johnston

i miss you daddy so much i just want to die :(

All our thoughts and Prayers go out to his family and all his loved ones.

Dear Tom,
Nicole and I had a long talk, as you may already know, and I wanted to say that I shared some memories with her. She let me get to know another side of you better. Now I understand the guilt and shame you felt alot better. It was hard to listen to, but I am glad because it helped me to understand how much you changed for the better over the past few years. I do remember the darker side, but it didn't last with me, and I'm not sure wether to be greatful or feel bad. All I know is that you were a good man. It's just to bad everyone had to witness all you went through, especially Nicole. She really loves you unconditionally, and understands you were sick, that it wasn't you. I just can't help feel so bad for what everyone, especially Nicole had to witness. I knew a different Tom, and it was a privelege. You know, you really were something special, it's just to bad you waited till it was too late to find yourself. We all have suffered a tragic loss, but mostly because you spent so long in the darkness, nobody could ever really see you, and you couldn't find your way out. I'm glad I led you into the light just long enough for everyone to see you better. I understand more clearly now, how it must have been your time, and I am sure you are in a much better place. I'm just glad you went to church when I did, and after getting to know you so well, I know you are forgiven, and are at peace at last. Love always, Mel

Dear Baby, If you have been watching, and I believe you have, then you know how difficult this time has been for me. I just hope you know I will make things better. I know you didn't like me drinking, and I am not going to anymore. Whenever I promised you I wouldn't, I kept the promise. It's the only thing that kept me on the right path. You were my reason for everything, even Isa. I just thought putting it out here would give me the strength once again to honor your wishes. I know how private you always were about things but let's face it, it's no big secret. Everyone has been real supportive, especially your family. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have them around. We all miss you very much. Isa does too, I can tell. She likes looking at your pictures and sometimes cries when I pull her away. I show her every day so she won't forget. I hope you are at peace. You deserve it sweetie. I am beginning to understand that God had better plans to ease your pain, and I know he hasn't forgotten all of us in that plan. We will always love and miss you, but we will heal in time. I know you are always here in spirit. Love always, mel & Isa

i miss you very much. i still cant belive your dead. i neve told you this, actually i never told anyone till now. i had visions of you deying in the summer time. i had a vison of going to your funrearl. i dint want to tell you. but..yeah :(

i found my heelies the ones you got me. dont worry, i made sure the thing to get the wheels out is on a neclace. melanie told me you liked the picutre of me with the rose. im glad, i like that one to. i still have the rose from your coffin. i hope you like the lion i gave you? its really cute. i would want you to have it any ways.

i found a picture of a rose you drew. its really preety! and that picture of elivs you drew, its amazing. you should have showed me some of your drawing abitlys!!!!!
meanie. just kidding :) hehe. ive already planned on spending the summer with mealnie, its gonna be just like you planned it.

i love you so much daddy! and isa does to! i hope i can see her soon :)

love your booch booch!

many many memories of Tommy ..most of them in our teen years running around the back of his house on nooks hill road with Tina ..Tommy use to pick all kinds of flowers and give them to me and a few years back I saw him at the old "getty " in Cromwell and he grabbed a daisy .. we laughed ... My youngest picks them all the time ( he's 4 ) and it always reminded me of Tommy , i guess it always will ... rest in peace ...

I am so sorry I didn't get to know Thomas more, especially when I read all of the beautiful memories expressed here. Melanie tried to tell me how wonderful he was but I didn't really take her seriously and I wish I had. I could have had them come to visit me. I wish he didn't have to suffer so much before his death, and I wish he had been given the time to get to feel the love of his children. He had many friends and he will be missed much.

Happy Valentines day baby!! Isa and I are celebrating it with you today. She sees your pictures every day and smiles, rubs your face. We miss you more than words can say. I am getting stronger. I will be ok. I want Isa to have a good life and I will make sure she does. I'm going to go back to school. Eastern said my GPA is high enough to enter into a nursing program at UCONN. My mom will help me. I love you, and miss you, ALWAYS WILL. Yours always, Mel & Isa ("Booch Booch").

Tom was such a wonderful person. I regret that we did not get to know him sooner. He was a great father to my niece and fantastic with my kids. Even when he was tired and not feeling well he always made time to play with them when he was at my house. He is in our hearts forever and we all miss him!!

All my thoughts and Prayers go out to all his loved ones. My sister Melanie loved him very much. I wish I got to meet him.

Dear Tom,
Where are you, and why? I wonder, as I sit alone in this darkened room. The answer is plain, but my mind forces me to dismiss it, and I am torn by anxiety in all my waking hours. Without you in my life, I feel an emptiness in my soul. I find myself searching crowds for your face. I still catch myself looking over my shoulder and calling out to you. As I write, I wonder when or if things like that will ever stop. I'm sorry I wasn't more patient with you when you were stumbling to keep up. I knew you were sick, just refused to see how bad. It hurt too much. I wasn't ever angry at you. It was just so hard watching you slowly fade away. I was angry with God, and everyone else who ever hurt you, put you down, deserted you when you needed them most. I wish I could go back and change things for you. I wish I knew you and was around when you needed me the most. I was just a baby. I'm still waiting for you to come to me in a dream. I could use just one more hug. Love always, Mel

You have my deepest sympathies. Remember the good times and cherish those moments.

Daddy, after the funeral and wake ive met and learned about so many people that cared about you. i miss you very much and im so sorry i dint give you a better hug the last time i saw you. mommy also wants you to know that she loves you and she will take care of me and were trying to get out of this house, you told me to stand up for my self and i am to aunt claudia. shes not going to tell me what to do any more. im finding more pictures of you and its making me feel a little better. I keep beating my self up about how i should have called you more, and how i should have said i loved you more, but i know you knew i loved and still love you so much. im glad your getting to know your father more, it helps to know your out of pain and your in a better place. it will be nice to watch over me and isa. isa being born is like almost you being born again. The other day i showed her a picture of you and she smiled and rubbed it. it was sooo sweet, it made my day.
i love you daddy♥

a poem for Tom - part 1

I remember your eyes, the gray-blue gleam
as you whip around our backyard
the caramel curls churn around your face
and you cheer and raise your victorious arms

I’ll remember the good - your laughs, your jokes
a mimic and a ready prankster, your love of the absurd
slamming your bike with a skid, amid dustdevils
your dirty brown toes caked with sweat

“SCHWA!!!!! you’d sneer, in defiance of me
revelling in your knack to puzzle all but your friends
your secret forts, your booby traps
your private caricatures of everyone you knew

poem for Tom - part 2

your thrill in discovering the physics of resistance
diving into a trip-inducing ball when pursued
yelping in delight when Dan or I stumbled
half in fun, half in fear of further retribution

take me back to those early days
I could have, should have done more
sculpt with you a better future – time-tripping,
leapfrogging to another sanctuary

later in life, change impossible, like tasting the Sun
the weight, the mass of a reality unbearable
yet you brought some real beauty to our world
your large and gentle hand brushes Nicole’s shoulder

and now sweet Isabel joins our close family
we will oversee their lives, searching intently
in their eyes and hair and voices for the echoes
reincarnating the spirit of you, our youngest brother

Eulogy for Tom-part 1 January 29, 2010
written by Mom (Margaret Lassen), tweaked by Larry (Tom's brother)

In Shakespeare’s tragedy Julius Caesar, Marc Anthony says “the evil men do lives after them, but the good is oft interred with their bones.” All of us who loved Tom understand the darker side of his life – his battles with drug and alcohol addiction. We also know the horrible price he paid in the physical suffering that ravaged his body for the past three years that in the end took his life. Today I am here to speak of the good and the bright side of Thomas’ life.

Tom was a very creative child. He was always building beautiful model of trucks and cars, airplanes and ships, often adding innovative touches. He built and repaired his own bicycles from junkyard parts.

Eulogy-part 2

In Little League, he was a star pitcher, and he loved playing with his brothers and sisters, and his cousins, especially Wiffle ball and football (in football we’d play two on two: Tom with his little friend Robert Giovi against Reenie and me). He performed amazing tricks on his skateboard. And in school he would win spelling bees.

Tom was very bright, too. He loved history and he was artistic. He enjoyed sketching portraits of his friends. As an adult, Tom worked with the developmentally disabled and in several people’s situations he was able to change their challenging behaviors and so helped them to lead more constructive lives.

Tom was a gentle, caring, and loving father to Nicole, and he often felt paralyzing guilt because he felt he let her down. Now at the end of his life, another love came into his life, Isabel, but again, Tom was powerless to give her anything more than a smile and a hug.

Eulogy-part 3

On a personal note…I was always a little jealous of Tom – his bright blue-gray eyes, eyes that he got from Mom and our grandfather, Pop. He had bushels of curly brown hair that always draped his face like a cherub, while I was stuck with an awful cowlick. Like our sister Mary, he had natural artistic abilities, too. I always thought that with his outgoing nature, quirky sense of humor, and his drawing ability that he’d end up being a comedian or a cartoonist.

Thank you all for coming here today. Tom is now in a better place for him, he’s no longer suffering, and for that we are all grateful.

Tom,you are a good man,father and friend. Your body is no longer here but your presence will always be recognized by all who knew and loved you. I'm glad that I was around while Melanie helped you struggle through, and ultimately overcome your addictions. That definitely made a good person, better. Better for yourself and for all who were around you. May you rest in peace. God bless you and your family and friends through our tragic loss. May you always be here for your two beloved daughters, Nicole and Isa, as well as your mother, and the two beautiful mothers of your children as they guide them through life and help keep you with them always.

To the family and friends of Thomas, My heart aches for all of you, especially his children, Isa and Nicole. Also, my good friend Melanie, who took care of him when he was at his worst. He called her his angel. He was hers. I never saw her happy until he came along. She needed him as much as he needed her. It was the kind of love most people only dream of. Mel,I know that words won't touch it right now, but just know that it was my pleasure to be there for you both while he was sick, and I am here for you now more than ever.
God has taken him home to watch over you all. God bless his soul, may we all find comfort in his memories.
Sabrina G. Mendez